I am well aware that my biggest parental down fall is my utter lack of patience at my children's display of raw emotion. Be it complete and absolute outrage at not getting something someone else has, uncontrollable tears of frustration when one's jacket won't zip-up, or horrific mental break down when the toy you picked out isn't what you thought it was going to be. . .but you know you're stuck with it anyway because you ripped the package to shreds in your excitement to get it out.Funny thing is, I experience many of the same emotions my kids do. . .I have just learned to rise above the raw emotion to a level of calm and reasonable thought. Or so I think! And then I am humbled to find myself having my own kind of tantrum at some innocent comment my husband made to me that I chose to take offense to and another kind of tantrum at the condition of my house which is far from perfect, but instead fairly messy and lived in. To spare you additional details lets just say drama, drama, and more drama.
And so it dawns on me that I am either spending so much time with my kids that their behavior is rubbing off on me or. . . that I am not that much different from them sometimes. Funny how being a parent shows you just how much you have to learn. That's a good thing I think.
"Pride makes us artificial. Humility makes us real"-Thomas Merton
13 comments:
I love the picture you paint with your descriptions of kids' tantrums. And I too do not deal well at all with my kids' tantrums. Seriously, when it starts, I'm immediately like, "Oh no you are not going to go there. Nope, seriously, don't even start. No, you're done, before you even start." I don't really allow my kids to express their raw emotions...maybe that's a bad thing.
My Mom used to say, "Do you need a do-over?" I thought it was the most annoying thing and I swore I wouldn't say that to my kids but, I do. It gives them time to react, think, and then change their "first" reaction if they want. It also gives me time to really take in the situation and think how I will react in turn. I'm NOT saying I do this all the time. In fact more often than not I judge and act before I listen and teach... One day I will be the mom I aspire to be. Until then my kids are stuck with what they get:)
Isn't there an old phrase... If you can't beat em' join em'. I do that way to often. I love this post. You express so well, what I can't find words to explain. I guess that's why you were the english major and I graduated in that camping major. Love ya.
This is all too familiar to me too. Just last night Spencer made a very innocent comment about the dinner that I made, and I took offense to it, and stopped eating right then and there. Yeah. Sounds EXACTLY like something my kids would do. Hmmm...I wonder where they learn this stuff????
Karen,
I LOVED your last comment. You're so funny!
Karen- you make me laugh!
Nicki-I like the "Do you need a do-over thing?"
Alisha-You and I are on the same "don't even go there" tantrum mangement page.
Don't you just love things like this. I hate it when my kids do stuff that I don't have patience for and then later I see myself doing it. Love that.
I love how real you are! It is awesome.
Owen is having a tantrum right now, mine will start in a few minutes.
Well said!
Wow, you have tantrums?? I never would have guessed.
You are perfect Kristin! This post totally nailed it. I always find that the things that bother me the most about my children are the things I find myself doing again and again. Gee, wonder where they got it???
Love this post. You really are a wonderful writer. You need to write a book - seriously! I'm impressed that you acknowledge your behavior you see in your kids. I choose to pretend I don't see it in mine, or blame it on someone else. Ignorance is bliss!
Loved this post too. My kids are constantly doing and saying things that I would do. When they are acting "Lindsay-like," I always think, "Wow...so this is what it would have been like to raise me." Hmm...
It's nice to hear that you (and all the other moms on here) act just like me. Don't you love it when you find yourself screaming something like - "WE DON'T YELL IN THIS HOUSE!" It happens way too often.
I'm with you on having tantrums about the house being a disaster (or not like I want it to be - which it NEVER is.) I really am going to hire a maid one of these days!
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